But as soon as we wake up in the morning, we are already confronted with confusing choices… We live in the daily question-raising tension of what our heart truly desires… What do I wear? Where do I go? What do I like? What am I going to do with my life? But there are moments when we also deeply WONDER what God desires for us, because every person in the most secret part of one’s heart longs and thirsts for something more. Every human being has a hunger for the Divine. And everyday, with all the choices that is laid before us, we struggle in discovering what God’s will is for us.
Life is a continuous journey of search and choices. It is a journey of noticing the gentle presence of God in our daily experiences. Life is a journey of discernment of the will of God in our life. It is a journey of spirit. But sometimes we find ourselves immersed in a context of profound change characterized by difficulties, conflict, struggle and crisis. How come? What should we really do? How? That is why discernment is also associated with crisis, decision, critique, and renewal. But what really is discernment? How can it help us discover God's will and desire for us? How can it be used in the key moments of our lives?
Deriving from the Latin word discernere, to discern means to separate or distinguish. It connotes an exercise both of the intellect and emotions/feelings leading to an evaluation prior to a decision. It speaks both of consolation and desolation; of light and darkness. It also means to see the heart of the matter with spiritual eyes; from God's vantage point, to see beneath the surface of events, to see beyond the immediate and transient. We can therefore say that discernment is a spiritual process of noticing the gentle and loving presence of God in our life and distinguishing his gentle voice so that we can be led to the direction in which the Spirit is leading (Pagpansin sa pagpapadama ng pagmamahal ng Diyos at paghuhubad ng mga palamuting hindi mahalaga sa buhay upang marinig at mabatid ang Kanyang tunay na tawag at kalooban).
Discernment helps distinguish the way of life from the way of death. So when some fire of passion suddenly bursts into flame at certain moments … wondering begins. In our experience of this fire in our hearts, we start to notice the beauty of Someone who mysteriously and continuously touches the very depths of our being. Then, a great admiration and attraction begins. We are aware that there is something happening inside us, yet, we are unable to name it. There are interior stirrings which are difficult to explain, yet, we are never more absorbed by the all-embracing mystery of being alive. We are simply drawn into something wonderful and beautiful. We are drawn to Someone who loves us and makes us feel special. We are drawn to the Lover himself who is infinitely good and perfect in his love. How can we notice, then, the gentle passing of God in our life and see the heart of the matter from His vantage point with the eyes of faith? How do we learn to see beneath the superficialities of events, and to see beyond the immediate and transient? How can we distinguish the voice of God from other voices that speak to us? How can we let our hearts beat in harmony with the heart of Christ? Where can we search, and then find?...
Then, we PONDER more... Questions continue to come one after the other. And it will not go away, no matter how hard we try to answer them or deny them. Questions like “Who am I?”, “What is my purpose in life?”, “What is it that God wants me to do?” continue to echo in our minds even if we have already given answers to them at some moments in our life. They keep on repeating and repeating. Is it because we haven’t really understood them? Or we have not listened well to what our heart truly desires? To LISTEN to these questions, to ponder and take them seriously is to discover the beginning of a call…. A vocation … A call to love... A call from God.
But with all the many voices and noises around us, how do we LISTEN? ... We shall probe deeper and further in the next post... See you!
